Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Have you ever?

God had shown us the perfect love by sacrificing His only son for us. Abraham has shown his surrender to God by sacrificing Isaac. Today I learned what is the difference between offering and sacrificing. Sacrifice means there’s hurt involved in it, while offering’s not. Sacrifice means more than just a giving. Isaac to Abraham means something very precious in life, something he’s been longing for about 100 years. “Our Isaac” could be our money, our assets, our work, our love, or anything precious for us, something u get with big efforts or maybe something which would makes u drop your tears to get that.

I have given away “my Isaac”, I have given away a part of my work which people said would earn the most benefit. I also have given away my love. Given away is not in the meaning of giving up. I have given away means I have given my love & I don’t expect to get in return, while for me giving up means not to love anymore.
I really value our last 1 month of praying. It hurts when I give it away, but I put my trust like Abraham trusts God’s heart, I want to trust like that as well. When we give away our ‘Isaac’ to God, God will provide.
Now I really understand what is sacrificing, I do understand what is a “heart of giving”. U can never say that until u experience it.

Have u ever loved someone ‘til your heart feel hurts?...
Someone said to me on valentine’s day, loving someone could make your heart feel hurts inside. Coz u always have him/her in your mind, u’re worrying about that person, your heart hurts when that person cries / feel sad, & last but not least u always want that person to be happy & get the best of life.
I do feel that….., it hurts when u have to give away someone u’ve been concerning for some period of time. It’s not easy, I know. This beginning of 2009 has been quite a struggle to me. As I started to grow more in Him, I felt a very intimidating feeling inside me, some voices are telling me to give up, telling me how hard life is for me, telling me to put down my hopes, telling me to stop believing. The more I chase God the more I feel that. Then I remember one thing, as I fly higher under God’s wing, the more the wind will blow. It’s storm there, strong wind and raining. That means something not easy to get through. But God’s wing is big & strong enough to protect us, to help us fly higher than the storm.

Have u ever given away something very precious in your life? It does hurt, but when u give it away to God, it will never be wrong, God will give the best to u. Sacrifice means surrender, giving away something which means so much to u. “So here I am, I offer my sacrifice to U, let it be sweet aroma pleasing unto U. “
~ I love U Lord ~…..

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Nothing To Lose


I’ve always prayed if this feeling is not from God, then please just take it away from me, Lord. As we pray together, I got strength & promise from God that He can change everything in just a wink. Two persons told me to give up this courtship, but I don’t know why I’m still holding on ‘til now. No matter my lack of knowing what’s on his mind or who’s in his heart, I do still care about him. My heart can only see him. Still…


I knew I’m not supposed to invest too much feeling on it. Well I guess I don’t, but deep inside my heart I can’t deny that he’s still the man I love. I don’t care if people say I’m a fool. I wrote this not in the purpose of getting to him. I just want to express that what I have for him is sincere, doesn’t matter what will happen. Above all my hopes & dreams, I just want him to be happy & get the best of life. I just never thought it will become complicated like this. Anyway, I do let him go, if he really meant to be mine, then he’ll come back to me & belongs to me forever, but if it’s not, then its not meant to be. I’m still holding to that. Nothing to lose.

“I just want a simple love. I’m not looking for someone perfect. I just want to love someone imperfect in a perfect way of loving, to love until my very last breath.”